The Age-Old Battle with Lust: From David’s Gaze to Digital Gluttony
Within the Old Testament of the Bible, King David, a man described as being after God’s own heart, faced a significant moral failure. At the time, instead of leading his army to battle, David opted to stay in Jerusalem. This departure from his usual kingly duties, a manifestation of the adage “idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” allowed him the leisure to notice Bathsheba, a woman not his wife, bathing on a rooftop. Overcome by lust, David called for her and they committed adultery. To conceal the resulting pregnancy, he arranged for the death of Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, effectively adding murder to his transgressions. David’s actions in this period underscore both human frailty and the perils of straying from purposeful duties, allowing unchecked desires to take hold.
David’s downfall is a potent reminder of the dangers of neglecting responsibilities. Life is not just about rights; it’s profoundly about responsibilities. This includes obligations to our work, family, and friends, but it certainly doesn’t end there. Even the great are not immune to the adverse effects of idleness, which can cloud judgement and lead to a departure from core values and principles.
In moments of idleness, even the great King David succumbed to the tantalising grip of lust. And, truth be told, haven’t we all been ensnared by its allure? Lust is more than just intense attraction; it’s an unbridled desire that devalues its object and eclipses our connection with God. Jesus touches on the issue of lust when he says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that anyone who looks at another lustfully has already committed adultery with that person in their heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)
Jesus began by referencing the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery,” a foundational sexual ethic of that era. However, He delved deeper, indicating that the moral code isn’t just about physical acts. According to Jesus, adultery could take place in your heart even if it never takes place in the bed. It’s not merely about actions but intentions. For example, there is a fundamental difference between noticing that someone is attractive and wanting in some sexual way to have them, even if that’s just in your imagination. The Christian message is unequivocal: every person is endowed with a sacred, God-given sexual dignity. Apart from one’s own spouse, no one should be subject to lustful gazes. This sexual integrity should be honoured by all others. It should not be violated, even in the privacy of your own mind.
So, what’s wrong with lust? Lustful thoughts and glances are rooted in greed—a sexual longing for someone to whom you have no rightful claim. To look upon someone with such intent is to see them not as their own person, but as an object to be possessed. This is a temptation that pushes us to use, rather than respect, another individual. We must be vigilant about the selfish tendencies that can so easily arise in our sexual desires. Looking at someone with lust does not honour the person in their full humanity; it diminishes them to a commodity for personal gratification. This mindset takes their sexuality and shifts it to be solely about our own satisfaction.
This brings us to the subject of sexual objectification. Sexual objectification occurs when individuals view others predominantly as sex objects rather than multifaceted beings endowed with dignity and worth. Grounded in the Judeo-Christian perspective, every human possesses inherent value. We are here by Divine design, weaving our lives with purpose and destiny. There exists an objective moral framework—an obligation, if you will—to treat others just as you would want to be treated. Sexuality, within this theistic frame, is sacred, and we are called to uphold the sanctity of it.
However, if we remove God from this equation, then perhaps humanity stands merely as a random amalgamation of particles, evolved solely for survival in an indifferent universe. Richard Dawkins astutely remarked, “there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but pitiless indifference.” Within such an atheistic perspective, it becomes challenging to anchor human sexuality to any notion of intrinsic sanctity or unassailable dignity. In a universe devoid of an overarching purpose, upon which foundation can we confer intrinsic sanctity to sexuality? All answers seemingly meander into the realm of subjectivity. For the staunch atheist, if approached with stark honesty, the answer might just be – a resounding void.
Yet, from a Christian perspective, the narrative shifts. Every person is infused with a divine essence and worth. Sexuality, deeply embedded within many theological traditions, holds sanctity for several profound reasons. Firstly, humans are crafted in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27), meaning our sexuality is an extension and reflection of the Divine’s relational essence. Additionally, within marital bounds, sexuality symbolises the profound covenantal union between Christ and the Church, echoing the spiritual, emotional, and sacramental bond outlined in Ephesians 5:31-32. This union also underscores the remarkable procreative power of sexuality, allowing humans to partake in God’s continuous act of creation. Beyond the physical, humans, as harmonious body-soul entities, embrace sexuality as a holistic representation of our deeper yearnings for intimacy and union, ultimately directing us towards God.
In stark contrast to a nihilistic atheistic perspective, Christianity maintains that sexuality is, indeed, sacred.
The ethic isn’t repressive, it seeks to honour one another’s most intimate physicality. To speak plainly and without evasion, from a Christian perspective, engaging in lustful thoughts outside of the bonds of marriage is considered morally wrong. Within Christian theology, sexual desire is intended for marriage. Infact, marriage is meant to be the fulfilment of sexual desire.
This leads us to a particularly poignant topic today: pornography. Nowhere else is lustful objectification as evident as in the realm of porn. Pornography frequently reduces individuals to mere objects for personal gratification, commodifying them in the process. This objectification can have profound negative impacts on individual psyches, relationships, and broader societal values. The “intimacy” it offers is a mere facade, substituting genuine connection with nothing more than fleeting stimulation.
Pornography is becoming ever-present and ever more sophisticated. Porn is everywhere and accessible at any moment. Pornography plus the internet equals a sexual tidal wave of erotica—prerecorded, real-time, virtual reality and catering to any fantasy you desire. Once hidden in society’s shadows, it now brazenly shapes our society. Billions of hours of pornographic material are watched every year. Psychology Today published an article describing studies that showed that on a weekly basis 26% of women and 80% of men watch porn. In the last six months, roughly 73% of women and 98% of men have watched porn. These percentages are only climbing, underscoring that this isn’t merely a male issue, but a human one. Growing up, especially during high school, porn was ubiquitously watched. You, your friends, virtually everyone — it was the norm. In fact, if someone claimed they didn’t watch it, they were considered an outlier. It was perceived as normal, accepted, and even healthy.
Pornography has seized a whole generation of young people, and so it calls for a thorough examination. In the following sections of this essay, I will delve into the multifaceted repercussions of pornography, laying bare its true costs. Yet, amidst this, I aim to offer hope and encouragement for those on the journey of recovery.
When Pleasure Goes Wrong: Unmasking Porn’s Impact on Neurology
Leading pornography researchers, Professors Jennings Bryant and Dolf Zillmann, have delved deeply into the effects of pornography. Their comprehensive studies universally assert that there are no overarching benefits to porn. In fact, Dr. Philip Zimbardo, a renowned psychologist at Stanford University, suggests that regular consumption of porn can rewire the brain to constantly seek stimulation.
How does pornography exert such a strong influence on the brain? When an individual engages with pornographic material, it instigates the brain to release a surge of reward-indicative hormones, notably dopamine. Renowned psychologist Dr. Norman Doidge, in his work “The Brain That Changes Itself,” elucidates how our brains are highly adaptable, a quality termed as ‘neuroplasticity.’ With repeated exposure to stimuli, like pornography, the brain becomes conditioned, forming robust neural pathways that yearn for a recurrence of this potent stimulant. This neural reinforcement underpins the deep-seated cravings and compulsions associated with addiction. Essentially, the more one indulges in porn, the more the brain becomes hardwired to seek the next “hit,” thus solidifying its addictive nature.
Imagine walking across a field. When you tread a virgin path, the journey might be filled with obstructions—long grass, uneven soil, and occasional stones. Yet, if you persist and walk the same trajectory repeatedly, over time, a noticeable trail emerges. The grass gets trampled, the soil evens out, and what was once an unfamiliar route becomes a well-defined pathway. Similarly, every repeated mental or behavioural action strengthens particular neural pathways in the brain. Dr. Gary Wilson, an expert on the impact of internet pornography on the brain, likens this to the creation of a neural “superhighway.” Just as the familiar path in a field becomes the default route, reinforced neural circuits become the dominant response to specific triggers, in this case, sexual arousal and porn.
What’s different about watching porn, though, is that as the reward signals associated with watching porn are so overwhelming, the natural neural pathways the brain has developed that connect arousal to natural turn-ons become overrun. When compared to other stimuli, the neural response to porn is particularly intense. Dr. Valerie Voon, a neuropsychiatrist at the University of Cambridge, highlights in her studies that the brain of a person watching pornographic content reacts similarly to the brain of an individual on drugs; there’s a pronounced release of dopamine. The heightened dopamine release when viewing porn surpasses that of many natural stimuli, making the experience unnaturally exhilarating.
This over stimulation of reward signals from pornography overshadow and often obliterate the subtler neural pathways associated with organic, real-world sexual experiences. As Dr. William Struthers, a biopsychologist, notes in his research, this heavy neural imprinting from porn consumption can suppress the brain’s response to more nuanced, emotional aspects of human intimacy.
Over time, this neural dominance establishes a new “normal” in the brain. The intricate web of associations that once linked arousal to a myriad of sensory, emotional, and relational cues becomes simplified and narrowed down to the explicit imagery and scenarios typical of porn. Unique attributes of porn—such as its boundless novelty, immediate availability, and a smooth gradient towards increasingly extreme content—can recondition one’s brain in ways that don’t mirror real-world sexual dynamics. Over time, habitual porn users start aligning their arousal triggers more with the virtual and perpetual novelty porn offers rather than the nuances of real-life intimacy. Consequently, organic triggers and genuine relationships struggle to hold a candle to the powerful allure of pornography. In the long run, this can lead to a phenomenon that clinicians and researchers often refer to as ‘porn-induced sexual dysfunction.’ In essence, the person’s sexual template becomes so skewed towards porn that real-life intimacy feels lackluster in comparison. The tangible consequence? An increasing number of individuals, especially young men, report challenges in achieving arousal or maintaining interest in real-life sexual interactions, gravitating instead to the hyper-stimulating world of pornography for sexual satisfaction.
In the past, instances where a man experienced erectile dysfunction (ED) were largely attributed to ageing, typically beyond the age of 40. The very idea of chronic ED in someone younger than 35 was a rarity. However, the dawn of internet porn has shifted this narrative. Presently, digital forums brim with testimonies from young men, often in their 20s, expressing distress over their inability to sustain an erection. They want to know what’s wrong with their body, but the problem isn’t in the penis—it’s in the brain. While research on the links between compulsive porn consumption and sexual dysfunctions is ongoing, many clinicians are reporting a rise of patients seeking help for such problems. Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, the Director of Men’s Health at Harvard Medical school said:
“I’m worried—I’m worried about the impact of porn on men and on women… A lot of the men who grow up now watching internet porn… learn their sexuality and how to get stimulated down there in a way that is not mimicked by actual sex. What porn has figured out is what really works for the brain… It’s maximum stimulus.”
So, don’t be swayed by the allure of pornography. Research indicates that compulsive pornography consumption is directly related to erectile dysfunction, sexual dysfunction for both men and women, and problems with arousal and sexual performance.
This all makes sense. To reiterate the concern: if our sexual preferences and desires are shaped by what we see and experience, and if most of what you’re seeing and experiencing about intimacy comes from porn, then your brain becomes wired to accept these representations as standard. This situation is exacerbated when individuals spend hours engaging with pornographic material, searching meticulously for the “perfect” scene to fulfil their desires. Such a practice can shape expectations to a point that they may become unrealistic to meet in real relationships. This is because, during a viewing session, a person might come across a dozen perfect sex scenes all performing a lifetime variety of sex acts, which most of the time is just unrealistic in real sex. Effectively, consumption of pornography can lead to a recalibration of the brain, where it increasingly associates sexual arousal with the exaggerated fantasies portrayed on screen, rather than with a real-life partner. This shift can foster a tendency to withdraw emotionally from relationships, as individuals find themselves more responsive to artificial stimuli than to physical connection and intimacy with their partner.
Leading relationship experts, Doctors John and Julie Gottman of the world-renowned Gottman Institute have expressed serious concerns about the effects of pornography on sexual relationships. They explain:
“Pornography may be just such a supernormal stimulus. With pornography use, much more of a normal stimulus may eventually be needed to achieve the response a supernormal stimulus evokes. In contrast, ordinary levels of the stimulus are no longer interesting. This may be how normal sex becomes much less interesting for porn users. The data supports this conclusion. In fact, use of pornography by one partner leads the couple to have far less sex and ultimately reduces relationship satisfaction.”
Diving into the world of pornography is like entering a funhouse – it’s flashy and entertaining, but it can give you a skewed sense of reality. Many people who frequently watch it might find themselves comparing their real-life partners to these unrealistic standards. Studies have shown that even casual viewers might feel a bit less thrilled about their partner’s looks and sexual performance. This could make your partner feel like they’re always falling short, even though what’s shown in porn isn’t the everyday reality. Realistically, most people won’t match the polished standards of pornography. It’s unrealistic to immerse oneself in a world of surgically enhanced, airbrushed, and photoshopped imagery, only to expect complete satisfaction from a genuine, beautifully flawed individual.
When it comes to the stimulation and reward function in your brain, porn and sex compete. Which side are you on? In one neuroscientific study on compulsive pornography consumers, researchers found that in 11 out of 19 subjects, porn consumption had lowered the consumers’ sex drive and/or ability to maintain arousal in real-life sexual encounters, although they were still able to sexually respond to porn. Time magazine released a story explaining how many men and women believe that growing up with their minds marinated in porn since adolescence has ruined their sexual response and ability to have actual intercourse. In porn, you are opting for virtual reality over real life. Choosing a virtual, often distorted, representation of intimacy over real-life experiences can have lasting repercussions on personal relationships. Engaging deeply with a real lifelong partner and fostering genuine connections is essential for holistic well-being.
Amplified arousal and the reward centre’s defence
Porn’s impact on neurology doesn’t stop there. Repeated porn use can shrink the brain’s reward system. Think of the brain’s reaction to pornography like its response to a bag of greasy fries. When someone dives into pornographic content, it’s like indulging in that tempting fast food. A rush of neurochemicals and hormones flood the brain, much like how dopamine spikes when savouring those fries. At first, this surge feels thrilling, a sensory treat. But, similar to binging on junk food, what starts as a momentary pleasure can evolve into a health hazard over time.
When individuals consume porn repeatedly, the brain is consistently awash with dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. However, the brain is not equipped to handle this chronic, heightened state of arousal. Over time, it takes a defensive stance, reducing the number of dopamine receptors. This means that while the brain initially responds positively to porn, over time, the continuous exposure wears it down. A pivotal study conducted by Cambridge University has shown that individuals frequently consuming porn, exhibited decreased dopamine receptor density. Simplified, when the neural “music” becomes deafening, the brain instinctively dials down the volume. Dr. Valerie Voon, one of the chief researchers from this Cambridge study, elucidated the ensuing paradox. While porn can initially act as an arousal powerhouse, with time and repetition, the brain demands even edgier, sometimes extreme content to hit that dopamine high. It’s a reinforcing loop: the more one engages, the deeper they need to delve to regain the initial thrill.
Several studies validate these observations – revealing that regular consumers of pornography often exhibit a reduced reward centre in their brains, a likely compensatory mechanism due to dopamine overload. This neurological alteration has cascading effects on one’s capacity to find pleasure in everyday activities. Simple joys, like meeting a friend or engaging in a beloved hobby, pale in comparison to the dopamine surges associated with porn.
Further deepening these concerns, multiple peer-reviewed studies, including research from esteemed institutions like Columbia University, Yale University, and UCLA, have found correlations between regular pornography consumption and adverse mental health outcomes. These include heightened feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness, lower life satisfaction, and poorer self-esteem and overall mental health. Succumbing to the allure of porn might provide transient pleasure, but its long-term impacts can be pervasive.
Pornography’s assault on the prefrontal cortex: Are you in Control?
Consumption of pornography has implications that affect more than just our dopamine receptors. It also interacts with the prefrontal cortex, a critical brain area that correlates with the use of willpower, decision-making, and ethical reasoning. In simpler terms, it’s the part of the brain that helps us modulate higher-order (executive) cognitive processes, such as exercising control over our emotions and impulses.
A study in the well-regarded JAMA Psychiatry journal, authored by psychologist Simone Kühn and psychiatrist Jürgen Gallinat, sheds light on this interaction. They conducted brain scans on 64 men who, on average, watched four hours of porn weekly. Their findings revealed a notable correlation between regular porn consumption and a reduction in the gray matter of the prefrontal cortex. Such a reduction has the potential to impact decision-making capabilities. While more research is warranted, current evidence strongly suggests that pornography could be eroding the integrity of the prefrontal cortex. Now, neuroscientists often refer to this brain region as the “command centre” for its relationship to how we govern our self-control and emotional regulation. Notably, during childhood, this area is still in its developmental phase, which helps explain why youngsters grapple with impulsive behaviour and difficulty modulating their emotions.
Imagine the potential damage when, in adulthood, this “command centre” suffers from underactivity or damage, a condition known as hypofrontality, which predisposes an individual to behave compulsively and make poor decisions. Thus, the repercussions of Kühn and Gallinat’s findings are chilling. If regular porn consumption indeed weakens the prefrontal cortex, it suggests a potential risk to the neural foundations of self-control and ethical reasoning. This can have cascading effects. As Dr. Gabor Maté, renowned for his work on addiction, states, “The nature of addiction is that it hijacks the brain’s natural reward pathways.” Translating this to the context of pornography, as this brain region deteriorates, the challenge to resist pornographic content escalates. It transitions from a fleeting temptation to a powerful compulsion. In the long run, a consistent interaction with porn may reduce our ability to make conscious and rational decisions, potentially making us more susceptible to various impulses and desires.
The Bible underscores the value of self-control and the dangers of yielding to unbridled desires. Proverbs 25:28 states, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” This vivid imagery suggests that lacking self-restraint leaves one vulnerable, akin to a defenseless city. The inability to control one’s impulses isn’t merely about individual weakness; it signifies a breach in one’s defences, allowing temptations to enter unhindered. By neglecting the safeguard of our inner “city,” we lay ourselves bare to the tempests born from unchecked desires.
Till Porn Do Us Part?
Consuming pornography may not only lessen intimacy in a relationship but also increase the likelihood of it ending. The enticing nature of forbidden pleasures depicted in porn can significantly influence a user’s perspective, fostering a more lenient attitude towards infidelity, notably among younger people. Many categories within the porn industry focus heavily on stories centred around infidelity and taboo subjects, potentially enhancing curiosity and acceptance of these scenarios in real-life situations. This tendency might be amplified due to the prevalent accessibility of explicit content in today’s culture. Considering the established correlation between infidelity and divorce, and the noted tendency towards permissive views on infidelity among pornography consumers, it stands to reason that regular consumption could potentially facilitate a greater acceptance of infidelity, thereby increasing the risk of relationship dissolution.
A 2014 study in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues, drawing data from the General Social Survey (GSS) on 20,000 individuals who had been married at least once, unveiled a consistent link between porn consumption and divorce from 1973 to 2010. Those who interacted with pornographic content, even just viewing X-rated films, were not only more prone to divorce but also more likely to have affairs and less likely to be satisfied in their relationships.
Adding to this narrative, sociologists Sam L. Perry and Cyrus Schleifer undertook a detailed study on the ripple effects of porn consumption on divorce statistics. Presented at the 2016 American Sociological Association annual meeting, their findings illuminated the negative impact of porn on committed relationships. However, there’s a twist: while men’s consumption of porn decreased relationship happiness, it was the women’s consumption that heightened the risk of breakups.
So, even if some consider porn a benign pastime, the realm of sociology offers a contrasting perspective. Pornography can strain relationships. For those who hold committed relationships in high regard, it’s time to rethink and curb porn-related habits.
Porn: The New Bedroom Intruder?
In today’s digital age, people are statistically engaging in physical intimacy less than before. Maybe porn is one reason that explains why, because if they’re not doing it, they’re now watching it. Many relationship experts suggest that instead of addressing the underlying issues that strain a couple’s intimacy, individuals are turning to porn as an escape. When a couple feels frustrated and distant from each other, having a meaningful sexual connection can be challenging. Consequently, some might turn to porn for a simpler, less emotionally demanding form of sexual pleasure. Porn becomes a convenient outlet, providing an immediate but superficial sexual satisfaction without the complexities and vulnerabilities of real-life intimacy. Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned relationship therapist, emphasises the dangers of using porn as a relationship band-aid. She argues that relying on porn to bypass relationship challenges merely creates a facade of contentment, leaving underlying issues unresolved. Over time, unresolved issues can fester, leading couples to further distance themselves emotionally and physically. In this cycle, porn, rather than acting as a bridge, becomes a chasm, widening the disconnect between partners.
Moreover, a study led by Marie-Ève Daspe analysing over a thousand participants revealed a startling trend: women in longer relationships reported less frequent porn use. Could this suggest that higher porn consumption might be inversely related to relationship longevity? While the exact causality remains a topic of debate, relationship specialists urge couples to think twice before using porn as a stress-reliever. Addressing relationship challenges head-on fosters trust, emotional connection, and deeper intimacy. So, when turbulence hits your relationship, resist the allure of a quick pornographic escape. Embracing the complexities and addressing relationship challenges not only fortifies the bond but sets the stage for a more fulfilling sexual connection.
Size, Security, and the Silver Screen: Dissecting Porn’s Distorted Reality
Porn doesn’t just replace sex; it can sow the seeds of insecurity, particularly in men. Mainstream porn, which often showcases men with larger physiques, serves as the primary educator about sex for many. This portrayal leads teenagers and young adults to erroneously believe that larger penises are the standard, setting up an unrealistic benchmark. Research indicates that 30% of men are unhappy with their size, a sentiment deeply rooted in these skewed portrayals.
Such feelings of inadequacy can erode confidence, potentially hindering intimate relationships. Here’s a reality check: based on a study encompassing over 15,000 men globally, the average erect penis measures 13.1cm — a stark contrast to the images showcased in porn. Most men might find this statistic reassuring. Additionally, the average vaginal length is typically shorter than the average erect penis, making size concerns largely unwarranted.
Even for those men who may be on the shorter side, it’s crucial to understand the anatomy of pleasure. A significant source of sexual satisfaction for women is the clitoris, not necessarily the vagina. Hence, men, irrespective of size, should embrace their bodies confidently.
This undue insecurity, fuelled by porn and occasionally echoed by partners, is based on a skewed reality. In intimate relationships, it’s pivotal to prioritise connection over comparison. Foster intimacy, exhibit care, demonstrate patience, and build confidence. Hone your skills, invest in seduction. When sex is approached as an authentic expression of love, it becomes less about personal gratification and more about mutual joy. When partners free themselves from the chains of unrealistic expectations and prioritise pleasure-giving over pleasure-getting, intimacy flourishes.
When Fantasy Blurs Boundaries: The Ethical Dilemma of Porn
Let’s delve into a contentious issue: Can watching porn be equated to cheating? When you pledge love to your partner, yet secretly indulge in fantasies of intimacy with others through pornography, doesn’t it hint at a covert breach of fidelity? Some might rationalise their consumption of porn, claiming it’s not tantamount to cheating. However, how would they react if they stumbled upon their partner engrossed in pornographic content, lost in the throes of imagining someone else? Wouldn’t it stir unsettling feelings, challenging notions of love, loyalty, and faithfulness? Can a relationship claim true depth if exclusivity isn’t its cornerstone? Can a partner genuinely be cherished if they aren’t the sole object of desire?
That’s just scratching the surface. A survey of 1,500 men revealed that 56% felt their porn preferences grew progressively extreme or deviant. One team of researchers analysed hundreds of the most popular porn scenes and discovered that a staggering 88.2% featured physical violence, and 48.7% showcased verbal aggression. Professor Matthew B.Ezwell’s research proposes a correlation between increased porn consumption and a proclivity for aggressive or degrading sexual acts. Many porn consumers eventually find themselves getting aroused by things that used to disgust them or that they might have previously considered to be inappropriate or unethical, such as categories like cheating, teen, mom, stepsister or even abuse. For example, according to a recent survey by BBC Scotland, 71% of men under 40 have slapped, choked, gagged or spat on their partner during consensual sex, with a majority indicating they’d been inspired to do so by porn.
Women aren’t exempt. Data suggests female porn viewers are significantly more inclined towards categories like rough sex, gangbang, bondage, and double penetration – categories that interweave elements of aggression with intimacy. As exposure continues, both male and female consumers of porn increasingly normalise and accept what they previously considered grotesque or degrading. With prolonged exposure, such behaviours, once viewed with distaste, begin to appear acceptable and commonplace. And when individuals perceive these behaviours as acceptable, they become more inclined to experiment with them.
A 2015 peer-reviewed meta-analysis of 22 different studies from 7 different countries strongly suggests that individuals with higher porn consumption are more prone to commit acts of sexual aggression. Disturbingly, there’s research indicating that regular porn users are less likely to intervene during a sexual assault (further study).
Moreover, the sinister link between online pornography and human trafficking is undeniable. Pornography inadvertently stokes the demand for the sex trade. Ironically, many who vehemently oppose human trafficking simultaneously fuel it through their porn consumption. This dichotomy underscores our declining sensitivity, making us indifferent to matters we once deeply resonated with.
The Battle Within: Conquering Porn’s Hold on Your Life
In the world of pornography, individuals are portrayed merely as instruments of pleasure, and this perspective can insidiously infiltrate our real-world interactions. Instead of nurturing genuine intimacy, porn promotes the allure of impersonal sexual fantasy, suggesting that physical intimacy can exist without emotional depth or commitment. This perspective dangerously diminishes the value of human personhood, favouring the endless chase of transient pleasure over the richness of enduring relationships.
In stark contrast, Christianity advocates for the sanctity of relationships, emphasising the importance of commitment, honesty, and sacrificial love before sexual intimacy. This approach not only honours the dignity of each individual but also strengthens the bonds of love and trust over time. While pornography promotes superficial and transactional interactions, Christianity cherishes the depth and permanence of true connection. Indeed, the values propagated by pornography and Christianity are diametrically opposed, each offering a vastly different perspective on intimacy, love, and the inherent worth of individuals.
The fact is, pornography is not just harmful—it’s destructive. It erodes our sexual satisfaction, can sever the emotional bond in intimate moments, and devalues our perception of others. Alarmingly, even though we are aware of its pitfalls, we often find ourselves returning to it. We are addicted. This cycle reminds me of an ancient biblical proverb, “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.” So here’s the truth: we need help. We need a transformation of our mindset. Fortunately, change is possible. Our brains, remarkable in their adaptability, can be rewired, returning to a healthier state. That’s a beacon of hope.
I remember my struggles with porn addiction – particularly as a teenager. It was consuming. There were times my brain felt intoxicated, overwhelmed by the singular urge to watch porn. This internal turmoil laid bare the stark inconsistency between my Christian beliefs and my actions, which blatantly disregarded the Christian doctrine on the sanctity of sexuality. I was ensnared in hypocrisy. When I finally distanced myself from this vice, not only did I feel a massive burden lifted, but I also found greater joy in the simple, everyday moments of life.
But how? How do you quit porn? From my experience, staying active is the key to breaking free from porn’s clutches. An idle mind is where temptation thrives. While addicted, sitting idle in my room was the most vulnerable time for me. Hence, it’s vital to keep the mind engaged. Whether it’s diving into a gripping novel, committing to a workout routine, or exploring a newfound hobby like painting or playing a musical instrument, these pursuits not only distract the mind but also instill a sense of achievement. Spiritually, as a Christian, I’ve found solace and grounding in prayer and meditation on God’s word. Reading is a transformative tool, offering gateways to different perspectives.
So, the point is that tasks that demand attention and dedication, be it academic pursuits, immersing in religious studies, or taking on challenging work projects, can serve as protective barriers against distraction. Furthermore, it’s equally essential to stay connected socially; moments with friends and family can act as bulwarks against the pull of isolation and its subsequent temptations. Also, in our digital-dominated world, establishing boundaries with electronics, especially in bedrooms, becomes imperative to safeguard against potential triggers.
If you’re looking to quit point, don’t be stupid. Be careful what you gaze at and leave your phone out of the bedroom.
My journey away from pornography was deeply rooted in my faith, drawing strength from my trust in God’s forgiveness and the transformative power of the gospel. Christianity’s perspective on sexuality is profound: Sexuality is God’s sacred wedding gift to human beings, intended for the sanctity of a marital bond between a man and a woman (Matthew 19:6). Rather than a mere pursuit of pleasure, sex in the Christian worldview holds a sacred and meaningful place.
So, the reason Christianity opposes pornography is not because it has a low value of sex, but quite the opposite; because it holds sexuality, marriage, and sex itself in such high regard.
This elevated view of sexuality means any deviation from its intended purpose, including the consumption of pornography, goes against God’s design. Pornography, in essence, tarnishes the sanctity and purpose for which sex was created. Interestingly, the term “pornography” is derived from the Greek word “porneia”, which signifies the act of selling off one’s sexual purity. The New Testament associates porneia with fornication, idolatry, and whoredom, all of which diminish the sanctity of our bodies.
Every individual, at some point, has deviated from the divine purpose of sexuality. We are all sexually immoral. I am, you are. We have all paid our part in mocking our sexuality and the sexuality of others in ways that dishonour God’s intention for us. The cross stands as a testament to the price Christ paid for our transgressions, including lust. By reflecting on the sacrifice made by Jesus, we begin to grasp the true gravity of our sins, including the lure of pornography. Its impact is evident in the way it skews perceptions, exploits individuals, and dominates minds. Yet, when we look at the cross, the full weight of these sins is laid bare. The more deeply we internalise the message of the gospel, the more we will see the repulsiveness of our sin. The more we meditate on what Jesus endured on the cross—the curse of God—the more we will loathe our sin. The more we think about the mysterious rift between God the Father and God the Son experienced at the cross— “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”—the more we will sink under the thought of our sin. It is then that we can echo what one theologian wrote, “when we behold the disfigurement of the Son of God, when we find ourselves appalled by His marred appearance, we need to reckon afresh that it is upon ourselves we gaze, for He stood in our place.”
Idolising sexual pleasure, particularly through means like pornography, is a misguided quest for fulfilment. Society’s prevailing hedonistic ethos suggests that pleasure is synonymous with contentment. This perspective propels the notion that true satisfaction stems from pleasure, so when the pursuit of pleasure doesn’t yield lasting contentment, where do we turn? More pleasure? Yeah, like that’s going to work. We are more indulgent than ever before and more unfulfilled than ever. The secular god of hedonism has failed us. The lust of the flesh cannot be satisfied. If you base fulfilment on sexual pleasure, you’ll need more and dirtier.
The world presents countless temptations, promising lasting satisfaction, yet only the divine connection offers enduring peace. For those ensnared by pornography, the gospel becomes a beacon, revealing that true satisfaction is found not in fleeting pleasures but in a deeper connection with God.
In the face of Christ, we meet a God who loves sinners, who welcomes home filthy prodigal sons and daughters, who promises eternal life with Him. The more we meditate on the cross of Christ, the more we will see God’s ruthless pursuit of reckless sinners and the more we can be satisfied in that love. As we immerse ourselves in the gravity of God’s sacrifice, the pull of worldly temptations, including the lure of pornography, diminishes. Truly absorbing the gospel’s essence brings about redemption, profound transformation, and the assurance of a love that quenches the soul’s deepest yearnings.
